Living Backstage
Growing up, I had two parents who were heavily involved within our church, First United Methodist Columbus. So, naturally, I, too, was very involved. I spoke to the congregation about international missions, I sang in our youth ministry band, I held a spot on the youth ministry student council, and I attended any and every youth group trip, local service trip, church activity, program, and service. You name it, I did it and I was usually at the forefront of it. I was a leader.
Now, if you know anything about the theatre then you probably know that there are the actors—most noted being the lead roles—and then there are those who work backstage, those who often go unnoticed. Also, if you are familiar with the enneagram, then you should know that I’m a 4. I’m the individualist. I dramatize and romanticize my life and I often think of myself as the main character, the lead.
At the beginning of this year, I was presented with the opportunity to come back to First Methodist Columbus as in intern for the student ministry, which later led me to be a part of the co-op this summer. As I jumped in head-first into this new role as a church-wide intern, already busy and concerned with the other things I already had going on in my life, I began to see it. I began to see the importance of the backstage. And not just any backstage, but rather, the one in which the Kingdom is called to play a role in. I watched our church’s pastors and our staff pour into the services and the lives of our congregation members, as well as those in our greater community, week after week. I watched them constantly work on adapting to the ever-changing circumstances surrounding COVID-19, week by week. The majority of this work was work that the congregation would never see or know about it. They were mostly living and serving backstage, behind the scenes. Though they persisted as they continued to pour into the church while praying for guidance and for wisdom, I saw they were tired. They were stressed. They were uncertain and even anxious at times. Through watching this, I began to discern my calling for the summer. If I could just allow myself to be available to be of service to God’s people and the Kingdom—whether it was filling in the gaps when someone was on vacation or doing a small, unnoticed task—then He would use me in any capacity that He saw fit for His righteous plans. He was teaching me a posture of servitude. One of humility.
As God worked on my heart within the church, in His perfect interweaving fashion, I felt His Spirit moving me in other areas of my life. I found myself caught in another situation where frustrations ran high because my own needs were not being met. I was busy and I needed everyone else to adapt to my schedule so that my show ran smoothly. But, as I worked and learned within the church, as well as began to discern my call, I also prayed that the Lord would sensitize my heart to the needs of those around me. My eyes were soon opened to their own pressing distress and how I could be of service to them in their time of need. All I had to do was to step back and make myself available to them so that their own show could run smoothly. Be a helping hand. A living sacrifice. A member of the backstage.
Where do I go from here? Continue to pray for humility. For a servant’s heart—both in giving of my time and attention to the church, and greater Kingdom, but also within my prayer life, as I more intentionally and continually pray for others and their needs.
The reality is that we are not called to be the lead of the show, but rather to play an intricate role in humbly serving the Kingdom so that the only deserving lead, Jesus Christ, may take his seat on the throne of our communities, our churches, and our own lives.