The Beauty in Creating
Shelby Bickes Toole is a Co-op alum, Ole Miss grad student, and owner of SJ Ceramic Company, a small-batch functional pottery & jewelry business in MS.
The process of creating is as important as what ultimately gets created.
When I began college at The University of Mississippi, I quickly realized I was surrounded by incredible, intimidating, and intricate people in every direction. I was fortunate enough to live in the same small town my whole life. I knew almost everyone I encountered on a daily basis, not to say that those people are not just as incredible, but it was in college that I realized people can really choose “who they want to be.” They are not weighed down by existing notions based on the personality of their parents, the past or privileges they’ve been given. I realized I was the only one in charge of my decisions. The first year of college was a season in my life that I have honestly never felt more lost. Not necessarily lost as in the way Christians invariably assume when we hear that word. No, I knew who Jesus was and had a relationship with Him. But lost in the sense that when I looked to my left and right I didn’t know who to turn to. At night, I questioned my future, who my friends were, and even who I was. I didn’t feel known. I definitely experienced the whole “tiniest fish in a big pond” feeling. A friend mentioned that he would be taking a ceramics class in the spring, uninvited, I said “that sounds fun- I’ll take it too!” Eventually, he decided he had too much on his plate and dropped the course, but I decided it sounded fun and I’d stay in it.
Contrary to any Ghost scene you might have seen, ceramics is not always as romantic as one might imagine. It’s pretty messy. It’s definitely time consuming. It’s physically and emotionally demanding (many tears have been shed!). No matter the skill set of the potter, each must start everyday with the elementary steps they learned from their first time on the wheel, and build from there. Wedge, center, throw, shape, clean, trim, evaluate, repeat. I spent the next 3 years in and out of pottery classes. Yes, repetitive- yes, challenging. But I found out for me, ceramics was worth it.
It’s both freeing and difficult to offer ourselves (& our work) to the world. In the studio, I found myself again surrounded by incredible people, who were ridiculously creative potters. Some questions I found myself struggling with were, “How did they come up with that? I want to use that glaze! I wonder if I could make my work look like that?” This opened up much space learning, watching and comparing.
It’s not like all feedback was praise, or every mug was a masterpiece, but through critiques I understood what I was missing. The MANY pots I squashed were lessons of where to improve. I vividly remember a conversation I had with my professor. Practically bursting, I asked him, “How do I decide what direction my pottery should go? What shapes my vessels should take? How do you know you’re making what you should? What period of history should I draw inspiration from?” To answer my many questions, he said something to the extent of, “You don’t have to go out looking for what you should make, Shelby. What you should offer to the world is already inside of you.”
It’s not like all feedback was praise, or every mug was a masterpiece, but through critiques I understood what I was missing. The MANY pots I squashed were lessons of where to improve. I vividly remember a conversation I had with my professor. Practically bursting, I asked him, “How do I decide what direction my pottery should go? What shapes my vessels should take? How do you know you’re making what you should? What period of history should I draw inspiration from?” To answer my many questions, he said something to the extent of, “You don’t have to go out looking for what you should make, Shelby. What you should offer to the world is already inside of you.”
The thing about my time in ceramics is that I didn’t have to go search the world to figure out what I should make, nor did I need to go “find myself” to be the person I am today. God created me with something unique that only I can offer the world, and the same is true for you. It took some digging to discover, but it didn’t just appear. It was there all along. There was a confidence that was unveiled in the process. Dieter F. Uchtdorf is famous for saying, “The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul.” Whether we live into this desire or not, each one of us has the opportunity to magnify The Creator.
As I sit back and reflect on my time taking pottery classes, it sounds like I discovered exactly who I am. Make no mistake, this journey isn’t over. As a potter and person, God is constantly exposing more of who I am- more of what my calling is.
The beauty in creating is that it creates something in us as well. It’s my hope that each handmade vessel I produce is a unique invitation to slow down, enjoy the world and in turn each other, just a little bit more. I learned so much more than how to make a decent piece of pottery in my ceramics classes. Maybe it’s writing songs you sing to Jesus in the quiet of your bedroom, maybe it’s creating content for that dream job you just landed, maybe it’s knitting for your grandchild, maybe cooking meals for your family, or producing digital prints that are sent all over the world- I’m not sure what exactly it is for you, but I do know we’re image bearers (Genesis 1:26). We’re called to create. So here’s to being vulnerable (Creativity takes courage. - Henri Matisse), offering a piece of my (& your) art to the world, and looking to the Author of Creativity.